Options A and B

This next passage is an excerpt from a journal entry I made a little more than a year ago.

* * * * *

...Take a situation where two options are to be chosen from; A and B.  Option A is the normal action, it is well-known, stays the same, very consistent and predictable.  Option B on the other hand, is unpredictable and proposes a risk by its unknown results; it could end up better, stay the same, or become worse.  The clock is ticking.  Now to choose Option B, would that show signs of courage and fearlessness or does choosing Option B resemble carelessness and stupidity.  In the case of choosing Option B and ending up with a negative result, compared to Option A, the variable, was the choice bad?  You might say yes it was bad, but if the results had come out positive and better than the variable, would it be a bad choice then?  A person grows from trials and victories, so to hover in between the two with an ever steady result, aren't you hindering yourself from harvesting richer results long term?  Whether the results are good or bad for Option B it is different, unique, a ripple in the line of normality.  Option A certainly is not an unhealthy decision, but I found myself being a strict Option A kind of person.  Resulting from that sure I was happy but there was nothing unique or different to help me grow and make decisions for myself through.  Think about the important decisions in  your life; career, marriage, college, kids etc.  Of these very large mile stones in a person's life ALL are Option B decisions.  To be an Actor or an Author will take you through a tremendous amount of Option B gates.  The ENTIRE concept of love can only happen vicariously Option B decisions.    The ENTIRE concept of faith revolves around Option B.  To truly be unique, different, and special as an individual, you MUST feed on the trail of taking Option B.

So which kind of person are you?  How often do you consciously take the Option A route?  When are you going to start changing things for the better FOR yourself?

Option B

Guts

Blood and guts everywhere!!!  No.  Not really.

Okay so I have tried out for the Solo in choir and also for the Talent Show.  Didn't make the talent show, which is alright, still love that song, great piano.  Did the audition for the solo in Acap today and it went well.  No results for a week or so, so...I'll let you (or myself, dont know how to classify who I am talking to) know.

Been happy lately though!  Really happy!

That is my smiling face yesterday.  Don't know why, probably cause of Thanksgiving, my hair cut, Real Salt Lake winning the MLS Cup, and just generally happy.  Okay buh bye.

-Wolf

Knowing

It is a release.  Like I finally took the weights out of my pockets and I can start running again without that tension.  In reality I'm leaving something behind and I should be moved to feel sad over, but as things go, it has me happy, relieved, regretful to have waited to change.  Excited to be myself again.  Almost as if it were a curse I was under.  There are things I would say, things I say to everyone else, that wont exist around you, because I was someone else.  Too much excitement and fear within myself when you were around.  Far too many momentous feelings bottled in my mind that all waited to flood out.  The sheer quantity and preoccupation with this mass of lingerings kept anything from being portrayed in the right way, which in turn would lead to a simple failure of communication.  Failure to communicate was ironically, looking back now, probably the most beneficial thing for me.  For the sake of the trust in my own feelings and inclinations, it was better to keep them in before they came out just to be forced away.
Though I didn't get what I hoped for, and when I think on it I could be unhappy, I am grateful for the feeling of hope and the drive I had because of it.  It is key to speculate the things in your life that are the benefactors to keep you going.
Now, back to my goals.

Follow Up

My last post talked about the mind set I would like to get back into to start achieving things again...well good news, I am in it.  Things have changed quite a bit just from this new drive I am in and I have got some stuff to achieve now that I am back.  So I had my big list from last year, I am thinking I will easily beat it ten fold through the end of this year.  Brigadoon is coming to an end at the moment which in itself turned out to be quite something, and I am very proud of the finished product.  When it does finish though the doors will we much wider open for me to tackle some goals.  I have a list of some short term goals for now:

SHORT TERM GOALS:

• Try out for the Talent Show on Monday (11/23) with my song, AND make it in!
• Prepare a comedic monologue for the Straight Play Audition, AND make it in!(12/08)
• Prove the same 5 popular kids wrong and steal away the Bahoodoray Ball Royalty (Christmas Dance)(12/05)
• Finishing preparing, then try out for the Go Where I Send Thee solo in Acap choir, and GET it! (11/25)
• Decide on, and start work on the piece for the Ensemble Festival.  (By at least Dec. 10)
• Start preparing a dual monologue piece for my AADA acceptance auditions

 To achieve these goals will just take the simple act of prioritizing them in my schedule.  Time is the key, so I need to be smart and use that key wisely.
The Talent Show goal is something I am very hopeful about and I have been working on very hard for the last couple weeks.  Depending on the competition, my chances could vary from high to low, but that is just statistics, I've risen above that many times before, and that is something I plan to do for the rest of my life.
Next is the Straight Play audition, which doesn't require a whole lot but I am planning to combine it with the AADA audition goal to kill two birds with one stone (which is a correct analogy STEEN)
For the dance Royalty goal it is kind of a silly campaign but I am striving for it, it would mean a lot, and it would be a substantial achievement to add to the end-of-year list.
Now the solo in Acappella is a big task, and I really cant be sure either way how it might go, but I am more devoted to attaining this over all the others.  Mr.Lundie was a very good skill building role for me and I enjoyed it, but I didn't get to work in a musical capacity, and this solo is how I have been occupying that desire throughout the creation of Brigadoon.  It is a sexy solo and I have been working it hard, hope to get it!
Next up is the Solo/Ensemble Festival work.  I have picked my solo piece and need to start putting time into that, preferably with help from Steen or someone of the likes.  I have picked out the entire ensemble group already and we have started work on finding a piece and we've nailed it down to one of two pieces.  So for this goal I just need to start working with the group on both till we decide.
Last is the audition for AADA (American Academy of Dramatic Arts) a conservatory that I hope to attend after high school in New York and Los Angeles.  Thats all there is to that so....yeah. 
I have spent the last half hour writing this, which I guess was productive to organize my goals, but I need to get off my butt now, go jogging, and then start my work. :]
Wish me luck!


-Wolf

Mind Set

Time to get back to being on top.  Last year I nailed everything, time to get back into that mind set. 

• Jimmy Smith 
• Hamlet in Ensemble
• 2nd at Shakespearean Festival
• Sergeant Trotter
• Took State twice
• Madrigals

Big list to call and raise to.
Tired of falling short this year, and that is not me.
Getting back into gear.  Now.

Halloween / Hike

This last week was Halloween and with it came a lot of fun stuff.  Around school, ward party, the high school parties and of course trick or treating. 
Had a lot of fun doing all of them.  At the ward party I had a lot of fun watching the costume parade, lot of cute little kids, and I got to talk to Alek and Sandon for a while, which was cool because I didn't talk to them much all through this past long boarding season.  Afterwards went to Scott's house and watched When A Stranger Calls, which never ceases to upset me, because it is the perfect 'What on earth is she thinking doing that???' kind of horror movie.

Trick or treating the next night was a lot of fun.  We went to Pepperwood a very wealthy gated community because Scott wanted to follow the myth that all the houses in that neighborhood give out king sized candy bars...which is false, not to mention the half mile walk just to get from one house to it's next door neighbor.  We had gone to a good 10 houses before I realized there was a hole in my bag and everytime I ran from house to house it all fell out and I was starting over.

Got to have some fun with the costume.  Dejan and Diego inspired it pointing out my resemblence to Hugh :]

On November 1st the day following after church we went on a very scenic hike up Big Cottonwood Canyon.. I will just post the pictures.  Following it though we went back to our house and watched a few episodes of the Office. Very fun