Update... Doing Well

A couple weeks ago I posted an entry about some goals that I had set and was working towards.

• Make it into the Straight Play........................CHECK :]
• Receive Royalty for the Christmas Dance......CHECK :]
• Make it into the Talent Show........................No Check :[  But I learned a great song still :]
• Get the BIG Solo in Acap.............................CHECK :]
• Choose a piece and start for Ensemble..........CHECK :]

So there is the results of a month of work :]  I am very happy with it, considering I set the bar high.  A lot of those goals were BIG things, and quite the blessing to achieve.
Now I need to set a new list of goals......  A bit longer term though

• Start Basketball Practices and go undefeated this season
• Start Tennis back up and try-out for the team
• Start running more often and proceed to join track
• Make up the deficient credits for Graduation
• Memorize You Can't Take It With You lines

There they are.  I'll let you know!!

Looming

Stopping where I usually do while on a run today, I sat to look over the valley.  Kind of surprising to see that the thick smog blanket that usually looms over the northern city was gone.  The winds that flushed through the night must have swept it up, leaving a clear blue horizon.  It was very serene, but far in the distance I could see the billowing smoke from the northern refineries, and the beauty suddenly felt empty and grossly temporary.

* * * * *

I stop everything for a moment.  With a glance back to time before I fully understand the progress I have been making.  A recent storm has flushed through me and with it, the looming layer of darkness that resided within me was taken, giving leeway to let productivity and optimism ensue once more.  The moment is tranquil, but I feel those thoughts seeping slowly in, knowing her shackles will soon bind me once more.

Options A and B

This next passage is an excerpt from a journal entry I made a little more than a year ago.

* * * * *

...Take a situation where two options are to be chosen from; A and B.  Option A is the normal action, it is well-known, stays the same, very consistent and predictable.  Option B on the other hand, is unpredictable and proposes a risk by its unknown results; it could end up better, stay the same, or become worse.  The clock is ticking.  Now to choose Option B, would that show signs of courage and fearlessness or does choosing Option B resemble carelessness and stupidity.  In the case of choosing Option B and ending up with a negative result, compared to Option A, the variable, was the choice bad?  You might say yes it was bad, but if the results had come out positive and better than the variable, would it be a bad choice then?  A person grows from trials and victories, so to hover in between the two with an ever steady result, aren't you hindering yourself from harvesting richer results long term?  Whether the results are good or bad for Option B it is different, unique, a ripple in the line of normality.  Option A certainly is not an unhealthy decision, but I found myself being a strict Option A kind of person.  Resulting from that sure I was happy but there was nothing unique or different to help me grow and make decisions for myself through.  Think about the important decisions in  your life; career, marriage, college, kids etc.  Of these very large mile stones in a person's life ALL are Option B decisions.  To be an Actor or an Author will take you through a tremendous amount of Option B gates.  The ENTIRE concept of love can only happen vicariously Option B decisions.    The ENTIRE concept of faith revolves around Option B.  To truly be unique, different, and special as an individual, you MUST feed on the trail of taking Option B.

So which kind of person are you?  How often do you consciously take the Option A route?  When are you going to start changing things for the better FOR yourself?

Option B

Guts

Blood and guts everywhere!!!  No.  Not really.

Okay so I have tried out for the Solo in choir and also for the Talent Show.  Didn't make the talent show, which is alright, still love that song, great piano.  Did the audition for the solo in Acap today and it went well.  No results for a week or so, so...I'll let you (or myself, dont know how to classify who I am talking to) know.

Been happy lately though!  Really happy!

That is my smiling face yesterday.  Don't know why, probably cause of Thanksgiving, my hair cut, Real Salt Lake winning the MLS Cup, and just generally happy.  Okay buh bye.

-Wolf

Knowing

It is a release.  Like I finally took the weights out of my pockets and I can start running again without that tension.  In reality I'm leaving something behind and I should be moved to feel sad over, but as things go, it has me happy, relieved, regretful to have waited to change.  Excited to be myself again.  Almost as if it were a curse I was under.  There are things I would say, things I say to everyone else, that wont exist around you, because I was someone else.  Too much excitement and fear within myself when you were around.  Far too many momentous feelings bottled in my mind that all waited to flood out.  The sheer quantity and preoccupation with this mass of lingerings kept anything from being portrayed in the right way, which in turn would lead to a simple failure of communication.  Failure to communicate was ironically, looking back now, probably the most beneficial thing for me.  For the sake of the trust in my own feelings and inclinations, it was better to keep them in before they came out just to be forced away.
Though I didn't get what I hoped for, and when I think on it I could be unhappy, I am grateful for the feeling of hope and the drive I had because of it.  It is key to speculate the things in your life that are the benefactors to keep you going.
Now, back to my goals.

Follow Up

My last post talked about the mind set I would like to get back into to start achieving things again...well good news, I am in it.  Things have changed quite a bit just from this new drive I am in and I have got some stuff to achieve now that I am back.  So I had my big list from last year, I am thinking I will easily beat it ten fold through the end of this year.  Brigadoon is coming to an end at the moment which in itself turned out to be quite something, and I am very proud of the finished product.  When it does finish though the doors will we much wider open for me to tackle some goals.  I have a list of some short term goals for now:

SHORT TERM GOALS:

• Try out for the Talent Show on Monday (11/23) with my song, AND make it in!
• Prepare a comedic monologue for the Straight Play Audition, AND make it in!(12/08)
• Prove the same 5 popular kids wrong and steal away the Bahoodoray Ball Royalty (Christmas Dance)(12/05)
• Finishing preparing, then try out for the Go Where I Send Thee solo in Acap choir, and GET it! (11/25)
• Decide on, and start work on the piece for the Ensemble Festival.  (By at least Dec. 10)
• Start preparing a dual monologue piece for my AADA acceptance auditions

 To achieve these goals will just take the simple act of prioritizing them in my schedule.  Time is the key, so I need to be smart and use that key wisely.
The Talent Show goal is something I am very hopeful about and I have been working on very hard for the last couple weeks.  Depending on the competition, my chances could vary from high to low, but that is just statistics, I've risen above that many times before, and that is something I plan to do for the rest of my life.
Next is the Straight Play audition, which doesn't require a whole lot but I am planning to combine it with the AADA audition goal to kill two birds with one stone (which is a correct analogy STEEN)
For the dance Royalty goal it is kind of a silly campaign but I am striving for it, it would mean a lot, and it would be a substantial achievement to add to the end-of-year list.
Now the solo in Acappella is a big task, and I really cant be sure either way how it might go, but I am more devoted to attaining this over all the others.  Mr.Lundie was a very good skill building role for me and I enjoyed it, but I didn't get to work in a musical capacity, and this solo is how I have been occupying that desire throughout the creation of Brigadoon.  It is a sexy solo and I have been working it hard, hope to get it!
Next up is the Solo/Ensemble Festival work.  I have picked my solo piece and need to start putting time into that, preferably with help from Steen or someone of the likes.  I have picked out the entire ensemble group already and we have started work on finding a piece and we've nailed it down to one of two pieces.  So for this goal I just need to start working with the group on both till we decide.
Last is the audition for AADA (American Academy of Dramatic Arts) a conservatory that I hope to attend after high school in New York and Los Angeles.  Thats all there is to that so....yeah. 
I have spent the last half hour writing this, which I guess was productive to organize my goals, but I need to get off my butt now, go jogging, and then start my work. :]
Wish me luck!


-Wolf

Mind Set

Time to get back to being on top.  Last year I nailed everything, time to get back into that mind set. 

• Jimmy Smith 
• Hamlet in Ensemble
• 2nd at Shakespearean Festival
• Sergeant Trotter
• Took State twice
• Madrigals

Big list to call and raise to.
Tired of falling short this year, and that is not me.
Getting back into gear.  Now.

Halloween / Hike

This last week was Halloween and with it came a lot of fun stuff.  Around school, ward party, the high school parties and of course trick or treating. 
Had a lot of fun doing all of them.  At the ward party I had a lot of fun watching the costume parade, lot of cute little kids, and I got to talk to Alek and Sandon for a while, which was cool because I didn't talk to them much all through this past long boarding season.  Afterwards went to Scott's house and watched When A Stranger Calls, which never ceases to upset me, because it is the perfect 'What on earth is she thinking doing that???' kind of horror movie.

Trick or treating the next night was a lot of fun.  We went to Pepperwood a very wealthy gated community because Scott wanted to follow the myth that all the houses in that neighborhood give out king sized candy bars...which is false, not to mention the half mile walk just to get from one house to it's next door neighbor.  We had gone to a good 10 houses before I realized there was a hole in my bag and everytime I ran from house to house it all fell out and I was starting over.

Got to have some fun with the costume.  Dejan and Diego inspired it pointing out my resemblence to Hugh :]

On November 1st the day following after church we went on a very scenic hike up Big Cottonwood Canyon.. I will just post the pictures.  Following it though we went back to our house and watched a few episodes of the Office. Very fun

 

Past Two Weeks

Been a while?  Yes it has.
In the last two weeks there have been a few very cool things that have gone down. I will fill you in the best that I can now. 
*Totalitarian Simulation
Started a 2 week phase in my American Problems class, where in we try to recreate the levels, inequality, fear, sadness, and unfair elements that were experienced under totalitarian rule i.e. Stalin, Hitler, Mussolini, Mao Zedong in his later years of rule.  Each member of the class (42 people) is assigned a number as their new name to signify their position in the State.  At top, we have Chairman, Jayme Warner, a fine lady :]  Under her is the teacher, #2, or Mr.Charon.  I was really lucky to get #3, which is also known as 1st magistrate who is in charge of the Secret Police (who monitor members of the state in and out of class without them knowing to see if they commit thought crimes, which are negative things about the Chairman, class, or State).  There are two other magistrates as well; #4 and #5 who are in charge of educating the members of the State in the 7 Principles of Totalitarianism (which define and embody exactly what Totalitarianism is), and also in charge of administering Propaganda to the state such as: A state anthem to sing, a motto to recite daily, and many other praises, poems, and songs about the Chairman.  Under the magistrates are 3 state police members who simply patrol the State during class writing down indictments on people for such things; smiling, coughing, sneezing, talking, laughing, or any other manner of conduct that they consider disrespectful to the State or Chairman.  The class is broken down into three clusters, The Chairman at top, the members of the Party (which are State police, magistrates, and any others who prove worthy through acts for the State), and the members of the People, which is the majority of the class.  During the duration of the school you must always where your number tag and if you're in the party you have to also where your Party arm band (similar to a Swastika).  You must also stand and salute any member of a higher rank then you whenever you see them and wait to be recognized.  If you fail to do any of these during the two week period in school, you lose a large amount of points when anyone who notices your failure to do so indicts you.
Confusing yeah?  Yeah, but a blast...only because I'm not a member of the party.

Rambling already?  Darn I had more to say.

Really quick.  In Acappella we spent the several weeks preparing for our Fall Concert which we performed in last week.  We sang The Ballad of Sweeney Todd, O Nata Lux, and Adonai Roi.  All great pieces.

Along with those songs, the Madrigals sang three pieces as well: Animal Crackers by the amazing Eric Whitacre, That Old Black Magic, and All My Trials.  Very fun.  Now we're cracking down to get our Christmas stuff learned and polished.

Next we had our Shakespearean Showcase wherein we performed the pieces from our team that competed in Cedar City.  The day of I was running back and forth between our teacher and the administration trying to get the building reserved for the night, which she should have done but when I figured out she hadn't I was rushing back and forth having her sign papers.  Next I found she hadn't created a program or order to the event, so I did that.  We also needed someone to host, so I did that.  At call time the Auditorium still needed to be unlocked, cleaned, and lit...so I did that too.  During the show the lighting had to be changed and a few people needed help with set elements...So I did that.  Very fun though :] Great experience to let our friends and families finally see what we had been working on for so long.

This is my scene, the ensemble scene, and Dash emceeing.

Between all these bigger things I have spent a lot of time with friends :]  Movies, lunch, Lagoon, Haunted Houses, and a very fun Iron Chef date...followed by glow-in-the-dark golfing.
Over and out.

Running

I tend to read, play the piano, and go jogging a lot when I have something to keep off my mind.  Jogging along the sidewalk, counting in time with each cement panel, and the conversations in my mind pushing through topic to topic.  Its almost my own little 'Auto Pilot' setting.  Trying to pace my breathing, feeling the air rushing by chill the trails of sweat down my face, keeping my step pattern in the sidewalk blocks 2-1-2-1-2, feeling the pressure on my calves, and every other tiny detail when running, I find myself focused on those things, and nothing else.  My mind is separately going over things in my head; sorting them, finding solutions, coping to new problems, deciding opinions on new life elements, and clarifying the rest.  When I hit the 2 mile mark I sit in the grass and join back to this separate conscience.  So much could be running through my head still, but this is the place that I stop all of that and look at my beautiful world.

Look at this!  I just sit there and stare.  It is amazing.  I don't know if everyone is the same, but as I sit there I really think about how anyone can simply drive or walk past this view and not acknowledge how magnificent it is.  Maybe I am crazy, but there is never an autumn mood mountain or a full moon that I catch a glimpse of and I don't stop and stare.  Never.  Maybe I am one of the few, but really next time you go out look up at the mountains, the clouds, the stars, the moon, and think about how consistent the Earth is with such glory.  It will always be there for us, to gaze at and appreciate, and for me, it will always be there when I am not realizing how incredible things are aside from petty problems here and there.  I love it.  I love running.  It gives me time to stop and think and gaze :]

Shakespeare

What a glorious trip!!>!  Oh boy.
The majority of the trip came down to "you had to be there"s but I'll fill you in a bit. :]

Bussed on down to Cedar and got settled into our hotel and quickly left for the THEATER to watch the incredible show, Tuesdays With Morrie, which while in, I am not afraid to admit this because not many read my posts, I cried!  Holy cow, it reduced EVERYone to tears.  For the final thirty minutes of the show the crowd was a symphony of sniffles and tissue blowing.  T'was great.

Next day got up early and practiced and short after performed our Ensemble scene.  We did well with it, 5th place out of 25, so not too bad for only having the script for 13 days.

After the competing we watched a second show at the theater entitled 'The Complete Works of Shakespeare Abridged', which was a very creative, cooky, humorous play.  Fun again.  Upon its closing we went to the Honk Kong Buffet and dug in!  I'll post the Shrimp genocide I committed later when I have the pictures.  Following the dinner we had an awesome dance party in Kate's room, quite fun, I miss dancing!!!

Next day we competed, did well, awards, then went home.  Thats all :]

St.Geezy

Left Saturday morning with 3 comrades to head down to the beautiful red rock town of St.Geezy (St.George).  My crew consisted of:

Hip-Hop King and Racially Confused Dallon Smith or D-Smitty

 

 

Ukulele Queen and the Island Diva Sierra Simeona

 

Piano and Voice Lick Masta Jaime Lynn Neeley

So that was the group, which was great.  Car ride with friends and a glove box full of Mix CDs made for the trip cant ever get boring, right?  Right.

When we arrived at my Grandparents house that afternoon we relaxed with some cards, Brian Regan, and a delicious pork rib meal cooked by my incredible Nanny (Faye Real, Grandma).  Afterwards, once stuffed with food, and after shaving... we headed over to Tuacahn Theater to see the show Aida, which was Great!  I was really impressed and impressed to make/lean towards certain decisions based on college because of it, so yeah, big deal.  After the play we went to Village Inn for some delicious Midnight pancakes :]

 

Next day we woke up and played some Tennis :]  Following that we drove to Zions National Park!!>! Ye-uh.  Very beautiful drive and fun little hike, very windy too.  Gorgeous, steep mountains that were full of rich color varieties and plants.  I already had a very deep appreciation for Utah, but going on this drive just really made me feel like, I need to keep thanking my lucky stars for such an amazing place to live.  If you're reading this and you live in Utah, think about it.  It is so incredible.  These pictures speak measures:

 

Amazing, Right.

 

 

Right.

 

Especially this one...

After Zions, we visited the famous In-and-Out Burger which I had heard talked up a lot but had not experienced it for myself...and it was everything it was talked up to be.  Amazing.  Cheap.  Fast.

That night we visited the beautiful St.George Temple and got to spend some time in the visitor's center and around the temple grounds

Overall...Great trip! :]  Came home at 5 this morning, nice relaxing drive.

October 2 - Official Madrigal Day

Knowing things is great, and today I know for sure has been grand.  Got to wake up this morn at 5:45 and get dressed up in a tux (minus the coat).  Made a good old sandwich cut diag-half and with plenty O' onions, for my snacking on later.  After getting that, my book, and the new friend in my life, Ukulele, I left to catch the 7:05 TRAX train.  Through texting I was able to hop on, hop off, and hop back on a train to end up with Steen and Austin from Mads to ride to the Energy Solutions Arena together.  The recently bearded Steen brought doughnuts and juice for the three of us, which was a great little pinch to my day.  Once in the Arena we sat around playing the Ukulele, eating, and singing.  Great times, yes?  Yes. 
After the rest of the choir showed up we went in and sang on the court.  Went great.  Promptly left.  Instead of immediately taking the train home, a select group consisting of myself, Emma, Christine, Claire, Alex, Dan, Cris, Ben, Austin, Dallon, and Spencer, went to the gateway to hang out for a little while.  Fountains, to the Union Pacific building, to Starbucks, and then left. 
Good talk about the new Just My Nature book I've been reading on the ride home.  I believe but I am not sure yet, that I am a dominant type 3, with a secondary type 4.  I know you dont know what that means but basically thats what Dash is.  Got back, made plans for frisbee and went home.
Went to play frisbee later which was great.  Played 2 ultimate games and 1 Jercle game, won all of them, good stuff.  Spencer, Cris, Rylee, Dan, Christine and Dash played. 
More will happen later tonight...Haunted house or a movie at Christine's so just assume that I gave some description of one of those events as if it already happened.
Good day.  Heads up for a big entry explaining the road trip with Dallon I will have gone on.

Audtioned to sing the National Anthem at a jazz game - with the Mads
Went to Gateway and hung out - with some Mads
Played frisbee for 2 and half hours - with less Mads, but still Mads
Going to do something tonight - maybe with Mads

MADS MADS MADS

Longboarding

Left reality for a whirl down the canyon
Off to my realm of glory and rapture
No problems in life can follow me there
Gusts cool and swift through my hair make that known
Being free, being spirited are defined in these moments
Opaque is your world till you trod there
At seeing the end of the awe-inspiring trail
Reason returned and my soul touched down
Darkness clouded my mind once again

-Wolf

HomeComing!

For those who honestly don't care and just want to know what I did; kayak, food, dance, bouce house. For those who do care and those who previously didn't care, but found to be unsatisfied with that description, read on...

Where to start?

How about we start in the middle...

Having previously thought I would be frantically rushing to accomplish all the tiny things that come up suddenly when wearing a suit, I found myself at quarter to five sitting in a banana chair watching the BYU game with my Pa. Our team wasn't doing great, but it was nice to feel the level of preparation preoccupation simmer down; this is a physical feeling I get, almost a discomfort that is burrowed inside me until I finish what it think needs to be done, is that just me? I would describe it more, but ever since watching a cartoon in seventh grade about antibodies, I have always visualized the feelings in my body as cartoon battles, and that would take too long to depict. Where was I? Ah!
In my suit, holding the corsage for my date, I shot that last, deep breath, glance into the mirror...confidence was rejuvenated, and I strolled down to the car. Arriving at the house around six o' clock I was greeted by Christine's lovely parents and quickly following, the lovely Christine herself, adorn in a beautiful flowing red dress whose "hue" was perfectly matched to mine. No, not the hue of my dress, the hue of my shirt. With over a thousand different details to admire, my attention was bought by the four small braids in her hair, made to suit my birth given fascination of the number four, and this I greatly adored. We made a quick trip around the yard followed by flashing cameras to help capture the precious moments. Soon after we left.
Dinner could be described with an excess amount of big words and witty phrases, but I would rather say; it was nice, and I enjoyed it greatly.
The dance was glorious. Pictures will be cute, I can guarantee that. Having danced with Christine before, it was easy to hop right into the groove (groove being defined in Dash's mind as; a high level of adrenaline affected by the beat of a good song, resulting in strange and erratic movements around another person).
After expending the energy granted by the dance's adrenaline, we moved on to the next activity to get more. I rented an 18 by 20 foot bounce house which was placed in my friend's yard for the night. An attempt to describe this experience will not be made, as it was a very unique and beautiful. Any object capable of taking ego ridden high school boys and making them giddy and giggly no matter who was watching and again tap the sensations felt as a child, is a magical thing.
Going back now.
At ten thirty the crew, which consisted of 16 couples, showed up at my door ready to go have fun on the river. The herd of people, car pooled and drove to the canyon, and on arriving, quickly geared up for our tubing and kayaking journey down the Provo River. With the manoeuvrability of a kayak, Christine and I strategically went up and down the river splashing each group equally, so as not to make any dry people feel left out.
Around four o' clock we drove the girls home, and returned ourselves home to get ready.
Having previously thought I would be frantically rushing to accomplish all the tiny things that come up suddenly when wearing a suit, I found myself at quarter to five sitting in a banana chair watching the BYU game with- okay if you are still reading, please refer to the top of the article to innocently keep reading in circles.

All in all, the dance/birthday was fantastic. Thank you Dallon for your teamwork on heading the plans with me, thanks Ma and Pa for the help with the date, and last big thanks to Christine for saying yes, the cake, and providing future smiles on my face whenever I look back on this great experience.

Your Thoughts, Right Now

Hmm...just another blog, yet there is this strange sensation deep down inside. Hundreds and even thousands of people all have blogspots like this one, but for some reason I am drawn to this one... This Dash character is becoming the capital of my thoughts, making me feel more and more inclined and even anxious to read more of his posts describing the simple, day to day instances in his life that currently hold so much value and worth to my anticipating desires to learn more of him. Each passing tick of the clock feels like a lifetime, I stand in the rain waiting for him to post more...more...more of his feelings that seem to embody perfectly the questions and answers that everyone wishes they could interpret for themselves. His entries are like a beautiful love ballad that draws out the deepest and most unseen emotions in a being, making them feel weightless and free of all the trials and struggles once cared for on the world below. I'm keeping him close--OH, I smell...cookies.